Original article published on 2017-09-10 16:22:24 written by Team SHESAID
It’s an insecurity you’re probably not even aware of.
If you say you don’t have any insecurities, we call BS.
Even the happiest, prettiest, most successful people have insecurities that bubble up to the surface every so often. Hell, even Victoria’s Secret supermodel Cameron Russell famously said, “[Models] have the thinnest thighs, and the shiniest hair, and the coolest clothes, and are probably the most insecure group of women on the planet.”.
There’s nothing innately wrong with having insecurities, it’s part of being human. But the impact we allow those insecurities to have on our lives can be problematic, if we don’t put our personal hangups into perspective.
At the end of the day, what you think looks frumpy might look beautiful to someone else, and the presentation you thought you screwed up may have really impressed or inspired a colleague. It’s all about understanding the fact we’re all our own worst critics, and being a little kinder to ourselves, in the same way we’d treat a friend who was stressing she looked ugly or bombed out in her job interview.
And the first step to overcoming our inner demons is identifying them. Here’s the biggest thing holding you back, according to your zodiac…
Aries: Needing to be the best
You have a competitive streak and like to come out on top at whatever you set your mind to, so the threat of not being the best at something can be absolutely soul-crushing, to the point of holding you back from giving something a go. Just remember, winning isn’t everything. Life’s greatest successes are borne from ever greater failures.
Taurus: Your jealous streak
Try as you might to give people the benefit of the doubt, your default setting always switches back to expecting the worst in someone, perhaps because you’ve been burned badly in the past. Whatever the reason, it holds you back from being truly vulnerable in relationships and can consequently sabotage your happiness. Just remember, there’ll always be people who’ll let you down, it’s a fact of life. But more often than not, those that love you will be there to support you, through the good, bad, and the ugly.
Gemini: Caring too much about what others think
Geminis tend to be one of the more superficial of the star signs, and as a result you often way over-invest in worrying about what people think of you. This in turn holds you back from being authentic at times and can lead to overthinking and anxiety, which can negatively impact every part of your life. Just remember, it’s better to be a first-rate version of yourself, than a second-rate version of someone else. And also, most people are too self-centered and busy to actually give a damn about what you’re wearing, how you behave or what you do and don’t say.
Cancer: Your need for control
Your need to control the outcome of everything in your life isn’t just exhausting for you and everyone who’s in your life, it also holds you back from truly enjoying things and being ‘in the moment’, because your control freak tendencies mean you’re always thinking 10 steps ahead. Sp just breathe, ride it out and accept that even the best thought-out plans can go to crap sometimes anyway. Life was meant to be messy.
Leo: Your bossiness
Let’s face it. You are used to being in charge, and you like things that way. But your bossy nature can also push away people you care about at times and make others feel patronized. Additionally, because you’re always taking the lead on things, you’re often insecure that people think you’re not capable of being a team player. So prove them wrong and step back and let someone else call the shots every so often. Sometimes it’s actually way more fun going along for the ride than having the pressure of steering the wheel.
Virgo: Always doubting yourself
Yes, we’re all our own worst critics, but you really take this concept to the extreme, constantly second-guessing your every move, and sometimes it’s downright debilitating. Your negative self-talk holds you back from putting yourself out there, because you’ve always got an “I’m not good enough” mentality. It’s time to stop being so hard on yourself. Take small steps, starting with a morning mantra; tell yourself “I’m worthy and capable of greatness” every day until it starts to feel real, and start taking small risks like putting in that job application or buying that daring eyeshadow so you can begin to see that what you fear often just isn’t actually true.
Libra: Not standing up for yourself
While it’s definitely good to avoid conflict where possible, your need to people-please often means you bite your tongue when you really should speak up, and this holds you back from expressing yourself. It’s natural to want to make the people we care about happy, but it shouldn’t constantly be at the expense of being heard. Speaking your mind needn’t be a bad thing, just practice doing it honestly and with humility.
Scorpio: Your trust issues
To say you have a hard time trusting people would be an understatement. You’ve been burned before and taught your heart to be guarded in all situations to prevent it from ever happening again. But doing so keeps you from developing meaningful relationships and taking risks in your career and life in general. Sure, there are some really untrustworthy people out there who don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt, but there are also people who won’t exploit your trust, just because you give it to them freely. Life’s all about relationships, so sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and put your trust in someone else’s hands. More often than not, you’ll be glad you did it.
Sagittarius: Your commitment pbobia
You relish your freedom, so the thought of being tied down to someone or something for a prolonged stretch of time is, quite frankly, terrifying to you. But your commitment phobia often sabotages what could be a truly loving relationship or fulfilling situation, because you never let yourself hang around for long enough to see what could develop. It’s perfectly normal to have a little anxiety about locking into something, but sometimes you just have to ignore the fear and make the leap anyway. The very best things come from the most challenging situations.
Capricorn: Fear of failure
People tend to think of you as a perfectionist, but your perfectionistic tendencies mask something else much more poignant about you; a deep-seated fear of failure. You feel pressured to achieve flawless results at whatever you set your mind to, so tend to dedicate your all to any task you’re working on, which isn’t altogether a bad thing. It means you’re a hard-worker and someone who’s focused on constant self-improvement. However the drawback of this tendency is it holds you back from experiencing failure, so you feel completely overwhelmed when it catches you off-guard – either through a relationship breakdown, or a task for which you can’t have total control of the outcome. Failure is a necessary part of life, and it allows us to appreciate our wins all the more, so embrace it every once in a while.
Aquarius: Your fragile heart
You are a sensitive soul, and there’s nothing wrong with that – it’s actually one of your most beautiful qualities. Unfortunately, you don’t see it that way. Instead, you invest all your time and energy into putting up the ultimate ‘cool girl’ front, to mask your fragile heart. Most people would be genuinely shocked if they knew how sensitive you really were. But here’s the thing; vulnerability makes you attractive and is one of the main factors in creating a deep and long-lasting relationship. So stop holding yourself back from experiencing true connections with people because you’re afraid of what they’d think if they saw your sensitive side. Start living authenticaly, and let it shine.
Pisces: Your fear of being a disappointment
You’re always afraid of letting other people down, because you’re convinced you’re not worthy – whether it’s asking for a pay rise or taking a leap into a new relationship, you hold back, telling yourself you don’t deserve it. It may have already come at the expense of your career, and often means you stay in toxic relationships because you believe you’re not worthy of more. It’s time to put your inner critic back in her place. Back yourself to do something you’ve always wanted to do, and each time you hear that negative voice try to talk you out of it, remind yourself of all the times you’ve succeeded in your life. The more often you challenge your inner critic, the quieter she’ll become.
Images via tumblr.com and giphy.com.
Comment: Do you agree with the insecurity for your zodiac sign?